Elon Musk reveals his terrible Elden ring on Twitter

Elon Musk at the Tesla Giga Texas opening party wearing a black t-shirt, black cowboy hat and black sunglasses with arms raised in celebration.

PhotoSuzanne CordeiroGetty Images

Elon Musk, who is 50 years old, is just like any other 13 year old. In between the long days spent fanboy tweeting on Metal Gear Solid video game designer Hideo Kojimadrinking chocolate milkand determine the definition and scope of “freedom of expression”Musk plays Elden Ring

He is known to play other video games as well, including civilization simulator The Battle of Polytopia and the open-world role-playing game Cyberpunk 2077† Typically, Musk doesn’t say much about the games he plays, other than enjoying them. But when a Twitter user asked Musk for Elden Ring advice on May 9, the billionaire provided a few details about his character’s build.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. This construction… doesn’t make much sense. As I suspected, having a net worth of about $250 billion turns the gray matter in your brain’s frontal cortex into individual packs of mustard. But let’s get closer to the mess and find out why Musk’s “move fast, break things” mentality doesn’t apply to Elden Ring

It’s unfocused

I will start by saying that if you have fun while playing Elden Ring, then your build is a good build. It seems Musk enjoys his shameful build, and I’m happy for him, although I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it.

Musk says he uses an “Int/Dex build, so mostly mage with some weapon skills”, and he holds his “shield in left hand, staff in right with rapier & claws fast switch.”

Collecting most of your points to level up intelligence and agility, or pursuing an Int/Dex build, is a common and useful approach to creating formidable magical characters. Agility gives casting speed a small boost in Elden Ringagility scale weapons tend to be on the lighter side (ideal, as mages are likely to put points in intelligence rather than increase stamina), and there are plenty of weapons that scale with both agility and intelligence to choose from.

But just pick one. Musk has four weapons equipped at all times, which can make it difficult to bring anything to its maximum strength. Carrying all that around also adds unnecessary weight – mage characters usually don’t need shields as they torpedo spells from a safe distance, and quickly switching between weapons of unequal strength wastes time and puts you at a disadvantage in battle.

At least wear a weapon is great for when you’re depleting FP supplemental Flask or Cerulean Tears, but if your primary stat is intelligence you should use magic as your primary weapon. It is the strongest tool in your arsenal and will do the most damage.

Then if you choose a secondary weapon for when magic is inaccessible, you should preferably pick one that scales with your high intelligence, but you can use whatever you want to deploy to bring its maximum strength by forging stones.

Variety can be lucrative when it comes to making Teslas crash in police carswith Falcon 9 missiles zoom rich people into spaceand alluring former president and current Twitter exile Donald Trump back to the social media platform you just purchased. But in Elden Ringa lack of focus causes a giant to sit on you and kill you instantly.

It’s too complicated

Change the armor from heavy to medium for a fast roll or tank. Move talismans a lot.

I’ve been sitting here trying to think of a time when someone would have to change armor mid-battle for the express purpose of rolling, but I can’t. Just like The Boring Company’s Las Vegas Convention Center Loop tunnel is common choking underground with more steps (or a highway tunnel with more stairs, a worse subway with more stairs, etc.), Musk’s approach to armor is unnecessarily complex.

If you’re playing a mage character like Musk, as we’ve established before, you should be swinging your magic at Elden Ringthe armored undead from afar. If you spend most of the game outside everyone’s direct warpath, you probably can’t help but wear your auto-fitted body type B bralette and still successfully kill people, like when Euphoria had a bloodthirsty, 11th-century wench character.

But you can also customize your armor to best protect you in certain terrains or during specific battles, such as equipping a poison-resistant hat in case devil plants come at you. Exceeding your gear load and making your character ‘heavy’, however, leads to ineffective, sleepy rolling or dodging, something you want to avoid in battles where every move matters (most). Changing your armor to roll is sinking another time. Do not do it.

Changing talismans is a less overt issue, and this can even lead you to an unexpected favorite. That said, it’s definitely not a requirement if you have a collection that already works for you. Ultimately, your damage output, stats and ease of movement will guarantee your success – talismans are just sprinkles.

uh…

Many small hits in a row to damage the stack is important

I’m not quite sure what Musk means by this. All damage piles up Elden Ring, but the amount of damage dealt is affected by a specific enemy’s damage resistance. As far as I know, there is no situation that requires “many small hits in a row” for, say, HP-dissolving critical attacks like backstabs or just well-timed regular attacks.

He could refer to the Twinblade Talisman, which makes the last attack in a series of hits more powerful, but I don’t know. Or maybe the Winged Sword Badges which slightly increases the damage if you land often and fast enough† Do you know? Is this over? how many stop signs can a “self-driving” Tesla pass until the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration decides to issue a perma ban on stop signs?

Musk has one thing right

call!

No emperor can run an empire alone. He needs workers to demote and daddy’s money.

You, humble Tarnished, are not so much different from the lone billionaire, and if you get stuck… Elden Ring, just ask the friends you have in your back pocket for help. Calling a jellyfish also works. Other than that, I know a lot of people find Musk inspiring, but when it comes to developing you Elden Ring build, you may want to avoid the association.

The grind and goal-obsessed mind of a billionaire is useful for fooling yourself into believing that rich people earn their wealth because they want to everyone sleeping under their desk like human snails, but in Elden Ring, social mobility is indeed possible. Your character comes out of nowhere – no health, no family, no girl, nothing – and single-handedly destroys an empire. It’s unbelievable, and if Musk’s bad mage build is any indication, a billionaire couldn’t survive.

Update 11/05/2022 3:59 PM ET: Added mention of a second relevant talisman.

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